Also, my good friend and sister in Christ Tawny also has a blog and she has some awesome photo's on it so I decided to try out the whole photo thing because the internet has some beautiful pictures of everything!
So here I go. This picture fits us because we have decided we will not find out the sex of our baby. It is going to be a surprise. Mostly because I have read a lot on ultrasounds and they are not good for mothers or for the baby but also because I think it will be interesting to have a surprise! Lets just hope I can stick with it when we are pregnant because I am not good at surprises and always want to know!
Kendell and I both want a girl first but of course we will accept whatever God gives us!
Ever since I was about 5 I knew I wanted to get married and have babies and be a wife and mother. Throughout my life no matter what I was doing or how much I changed that one thing never changed about me.
When we got married I wanted to get pregnant right away. I actually had planned on this month being the month we tried to get pregnant. But in January Kendell and I started talking about it and he explained to me that he is not ready to be pregnant yet. I was heart broken, upset, angry, I even felt a little betrayed because even though he gave me hints and flat out told me a few times that he was not ready for babies yet I didn't realize it and I felt like he made me believe he wanted kids right away so I would marry him. How wrong I was and I now look back and remember all the times he told me he wasn't!
So in January I just started praying that God would get us pregnant when he wants us pregnant and until then help prepare us for it.
Since then I have been reading a lot about pregnancy and preparing for it psychically, mentally and financially.
Kendell and I are very unhealthy. We eat wrong and we don't exercise at all. We are completely addicted to fast food. The last 3 bank statements we have gotten I highlighted all the amounts we spent on junk food/bad food and it was in the hundreds! It's ridiculous and it HAS to stop.
I get so discouraged because Kendell has horrible eating habits. He will not eat any vegetables and if he does it makes him miserable and I just give up and throw it away because I can't stand it.
But it is time to put my foot down. As a wife it is my responsibility to feed my family good food! I am failing at being a wife if I don't do that. I am going to serve vegetables and he is going to eat them, period. I am going to stop being lazy and cook 3 meals a day and get over my bad food cravings and help him get over his.
I am buying a treadmill with my next check and I am going to start walking 3 miles a day and he has promised he will walk at least 1 mile a day.
I am taking around 40 herbs and vitamins a day, that will go down some after I get over this cold but I am going to get my immune system and body back to normal!
I am tired of living this life. I am tired of eating and feeling like shit for eating bad food. I am sick of worrying about my husband everyday. Everyday he is obese lowers the years he will live. I want to grow old with him and live to see our grand children and maybe great grandchildren someday. So this has to stop. Not only for us but for our future babies.
So it all comes down to, I truly believe God knew Kendell wasn't ready for kids mentally and he knew my body wasn't ready for pregnancy so we are perfect for each other really. I am actually really glad we haven't become pregnant yet because I want to be as healthy as possible when i am pregnant and I want to develop good eating and exercise habits before we decide to add to our family:)
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