May 15th

Yesterday was sunny! No clouds, warm, and no wind. PERFECT weather.

Today is rainy, cloudy, and cold HORRIBLE weather. But either way, today and yesterday were both AMAZING days :).

9 more days until Kendell gets here. Though I'm not ready for it, I am so excited.

I've been putting off cleaning and all the things I need to do before he gets here.

But honestly I think the reason is because I want to do it with him when he IS here.

I am so anxious to do things with him. Holding his hand, cleaning his room, making this new life for us together. Everything, I can't wait to just be with him and see him with my own eyes everyday.

But I am also a little scared. Scared of him seeing me at my worst, Even though I know he'll love me no matter what I look or feel like that day.

I'm scared of growing up, for so long I've wanted Marriage and kids and I still do, but the thought of it being so close now terrifies me and I am afraid that I won't be a good enough mother or wife.

But again, God knows when I'm ready and God will show me when to get married and he knows when I should have children.

I really have nothing to fear with God on my side and me walking while holding his hand.

But I have this feeling, and I think it's just being nervous and anxious and the beginning of a new life, A CHANGE.

And to be quite honest, I've never wanted such a big change in my life, until now:).

I love you, Because Jesus loves me,

Amanda.